I was to be refereeing the match, so turned up dressed in a nice blue 60’s all in one work overall, ready for action, whistle was tied around my neck and I had my red and yellow cards ready to dish out for any naughty tackles.
Manq had decided on a 4-4-2 formation with the line up as follows:
Lormor, Bread, Quiche, Ashley, Mellors, Manq, Danny, Jay, Gav, Gav Short, Gallagher.
Subs were Scott, Leigh, Kirk and some bloke called Tony.
The 1st problem of the day was that Scott’s tea was a tad too milky, although we soon cheered up when ex player Cunno turned up at the manor only to find his new team were in fact playing away in Sutton, thick ………
Luckily the Hill Crescent secretary volunteered to referee the 1st half, as he was more qualified than I’ll ever be.
I was hoping to do at the very least a 1st half match report, but that idea went out the window as the only substitute for the away side, who was running the line, ended up being needed as a visiting player twisted his right nostril in a 50/50 challenge.
I was hurtling down the line as the 1st goal went in, Jay shot from 30 yards, and as the keeper was in the process of seeing it wide, the ball promptly hit the post and went in. To be fair it was nothing more than the Bridge deserved, they had laid siege to the away goal for the entire 1st half with very little luck, Gallagher had hit the post about 4 dozen times.
And so half time came, with now my turn in the referee’s hot seat. I did my warm up on the sidelines my belching and generally passing wind for about 5 minutes.
It is hard enough refereeing, never mind trying to write a match report as well, so I’ll do my best to summarize from the point of view of being the man in the middle.
I had no option but to book Danny for diving, had he realized that the away side were still in the dressing room for the half time team talk, I’m sure he would have taken the booking with good grace.
Also the corner routine used by the Bridge for the 4th goal, was highly controversial, I’d better not reveal all, as some teams might get to hear about it and put a stop to it. From a personal point of view, I didn’t see the entire incident, which was quite worrying as I was stood next to the corner flag at the time of the incident.
Being a referee, or “reffff” as is shouted out all Sunday morning, is tough, all you hear from the sidelines is “that’s a penalty ref, or free kick”, which if you followed their advice, we’d see no football, just 90 minutes of set pieces from whichever side shouts loudest.
Anyway, despite my urge to send of anyone whinging from the sidelines, the Bridge went on to successfully put 5 past the opposition keeper, and despite Lormor being lobbed for a consolation, I blew up for full time just as Danny was about to make it 6, and yes I did do it on purpose.
A fine win and great performance from the referees.